If you have breasts and have ever had a mammogram you know they aren’t fun. If you happen to be in the (VERY) large breast group that I am in, you know that they probably aren’t as bad as they are for people with small boobs. For this, I am very grateful.
My first mammogram was scheduled for the day after I found the lump and it was a very standard appointment. I had not told my primary care physician about the lump as it was two days before Christmas and I truly believed that it was going to be nothing. Except, I didn’t believe that.
I think now, that the minute I felt that lump I knew it was my turn. And I was calm.
If you know me at all you know this already, but if you don’t…. I am an amazingly strong woman – when it counts. My brother used to say I was the strongest woman he knows unless I stub my toe. And then I need an ambulance. He is right.
For all the big things – childbirth, surgeries, and finding this lump – I am strong and rational, and calm. Mostly.
I walked into the mammogram, told the tech that I had found a lump the day before, and chose a 3D mammogram not caring if health insurance covered it or not. Sidebar, it did. So she pulled and squished, stepped behind a screen, hit a button and I was done.
Except I wasn’t.
The next day I got a call from the radiologist's office telling me I had not just one lump but two. Both were in my left breast and they would need to be checked with additional mammograms and ultrasounds. Without asking for a preferred time or day they set me up with an appointment for January 2nd, 2023.
Everything from that moment on has happened fast. I am so lucky for it.
I walked into the appointment for additional imaging on Monday, January 2nd. I got more boob squishes and ultrasounds on my left breast and I walked out with an appointment for a biopsy. I want to say that that is the moment when it hit me that it was serious. Except it wasn’t. I knew it was serious from day one. And if I may, a piece of advice, honor yourself and how you react to stressful things. The way for me is to accept that it could be bad and hope that it isn’t. The way you chose to deal with things like this could look very different. No way is the right way.
Also: accept the help that is offered. My friend took me to my imaging appointment. She wouldn’t take no for an answer. I was glad she was there. I got to sit back on the ride home and digest what was happening without having to worry about driving or traffic. It was a blessing. And get yourself a friendship like this one, because she informed me that my husband should be taking me to all other appointments and if he said no for any reason he would have to deal with her.
He didn’t say no, by the way, so he's safe.